Grocery Tetris

During an unexpected opening in my schedule, I was able to join my wife in shopping for groceries – more or less as a “date”.  Having been in this situation before (shopping with her), and realizing that as long as I don’t know what we’re looking for and thus don’t know what to do, it’s very easy for it to look like I’m not very happy about it all.  I have learned that it is not a good idea for me to scuff along behind her acting as if I’m being “dragged along” – as she calls it - because that only leads to trouble and can spoil the “date”.  So, I offered to push the cart.  Soon thereafter, however, I noticed that the cart was not being loaded efficiently, and that if the frozen items were closer to each other – they would help one another remain frozen – and boom!! – I was “in”. 

Loading groceries in a cart properly is really quite a challenge, and the variables involved are satisfyingly diverse; shape, temperature, crush-ability, food group, ultimate storage location, and potential chemical reactions – just to name a few.  Much like the computer game “Tetris”, you never know what shape is coming next, so you have to plan ahead a bit, but be willing to change the plan. 

I also soon discovered that grocery stores are not organized in an order that would optimize my cart arrangement schema and it turned out to be a fairly significant crisis when near the end of the trip I suddenly had to pack an entire gallon of white vinegar and two gallons of milk!  More than once I think I saw my wife roll her eyes in admiration as I was feverishly trying to rearrange things in the cart while she’s already half way down the aisle with a handful of items that I haven’t let her give me to put in the cart yet. 

I’m cool, though, real casual and inconspicuous about it all – even though I did take several photos of the process with my cell phone – just to show the “guys” if it ever comes up in, you know, a conversation.

I was rather successful overall in my mission, and I’m sure I was also a pleasant and charming companion during the shopping date.  Having played the game well, I’m looking forward to my next opportunity.  But, I’ve also learned some things for next time; for example, God made groceries to not fit together so well so that the typical shopper would sooner recognize that the cart was indeed full and thus the budget for groceries already consumed.  You see, my overly efficient storage methods pushed our total bill 30% over expectations, and it took a lot more conveyor belt at the cashier than we’ve ever used before, and the cashier wasn’t nearly so careful so to pack things as I was, so it took more cart(s) to get the items away from the register than the one it took to get them there. 

Next time…