Three Great Talents

At dinner the other day, my Kindergartener reported to us about his performance on “talent show day” in his music class at school.

First, he played his version of Pachelbel’s Canon in D on the piano – which he plays by ear.  (He plays it amazingly well, actually.  It’s a nice change compared to “hot cross buns” peformed by most of his older siblings.)

Second,  he recited 2 Corinthians 5:14-21.  Seriously, the whole passage – he learned it at church.

Then, finally, he displayed what he regards as his truly great talent – his ability to whistle.  The fact that what he calls “whistling” it is actually “wheezing on pitch” didn’t appear to dampen either his joy nor the appreciation of his fellow students.

I wish I could have seen the changing expressions on the face of the teacher.  We have mixed feelings about our next parent teacher conference.

Bribing the teacher

We have several computers in our house, but only one printer.

That’s the story my daughter told her teacher to explain why the last page of her paper was a nice coupon to a local restaurant.

Indpekabulle Spelling

The front page of my Kindergartener’s spelling test:

The back page – for free styling:

fantastic
San Francisco
Indescribable
Unbelievable
Corellian (from Start Wars)
Central Michigan University
Impeccable
Magic

Jama Jam

I had the unusual responsibility to drop my kindergartener off to school.  As he climbed out of the car I noticed that he was still wearing pajamas.

Panic.  Was I going to be in trouble because I brought my child to school in his PJ’s, or was I going to get in trouble for stopping him even though I should have known it was spirit week or something?

Memory scan - nothing.  I opted to not notice.

So far, so good.

Terms of Amnesty

A couple of weeks ago my daughter wrote a paper on ‘parenting mistakes’.  After learning I was the subject of her research, I asked her for which ‘parenting mistake’, in particular, I was being used as such a great example.

Joe, interrupted dryly, and said to her, “You had better negotiate terms of amnesty before you give an answer that question.”

I love it when my kids quote me in their papers for school.

My 18 year old daughter sent me an email from school asking me what “SUMMERS” stood for. It was an acronym that I had made up for a family meeting many years ago – and she was now writing a paper for school about parenting, and she wanted to know what each of the letters of SUMMERS stood for.

The next day  I asked her what the point of her paper was.  She hesitated.

I asked again.  The title of the paper was “Parenting Mistakes”.

Oh yes, it can get worse

A couple of weeks ago my 14 year old crashed into the car (late for school) complaining.

“I cut myself twice shaving,”, he moaned,  “and I couldn’t find my books.”  (they were already in the car).  “This day couldn’t get any worse!”, he concluded.

Little did he know that 3 hours later would he be wearing someone’s borrowed band shorts.  It was the day he ripped his pants!

Ripping a Skip Day

The caller ID read, “Public School”.  Always a frightening call to get.  Who’s sick or in trouble with the principal now?

The 14 year old Frosh is on the phone.  “Dad, I ripped my pants.”

Who knew that would be GOOD news?  He’s taking the rest of the day off to celebrate.

4 Way Stop

My youngest daughter are working on her driver’s license – in particular, we’re working on the subtleties of the dreaded 4 way stop.

The last time we were out, when we came to a 4 way stop we were the 2nd car from our direction, but we had come to a stop already before the 3rd car – from a different direction – arrived at the intersection. The car in front of us went first, and then rather than letting the car from the other direction go next – we went right away too, without giving the car from other direction their turn.

Technically, I guess we had stopped in line before the 3rd car arrived at the intersection – but they were stopped at the intersection before we had gotten our turn to go, so I don’t think it was our turn. Whatever the rules are here, I’m pretty sure that the same direction never gets to go twice in a row if there are other cars from other directions present. Anyway, I thought about a good way to explain it to my daughter.

“Just drive up to the intersection, close your eyes, and when the car comes to a complete stop, open them again and if you see any other cars not moving – it’s their turn first.”

Not a good idea. The phrases “close your eyes” and “complete stop” should never be used in the same sentence while teaching someone how to drive.

 

A Van Too Tall

Six foot three inches.  That’s what the signs says.

That is also a problem when the big van my son was trying to park in the ramp at college is a bit over six foot four.

It would have been more than entertaining to have watched him figuring all of this out after having committed to the ramp, during rush hour, then asking the cars behind him to back up, and then trying to turn around in the entrance.