My 14 year old daughter, who fancies herself as rather “rabbitine”, planted a garden of carrots in the back yard, and surrounded the patch neatly with yarn strung from stick to stick.
A few days later, the carrots started to show, and then a few days after that – they had been eaten away – by none other than the real rabbits who live in our neighborhood. I’m told that the violating rabbit’s name is “Carl-Marvin”.
I find the whole affair sweetly, strangely and tragically ironic.
I purchased a hamster for my 14 year old daughter – I couldn’t resist – the eyes. Anyway, I told her that they smell nice like cedar chips at first – because that’s what’s in the cage, but after awhile, there are other things in the cage too – and the smell changes.
Well, she fell in love with him at first sight – I told you it was the eyes - and she named him “Howie”. And, a few days later, she admitted that what I said about the cedar chips was true too, and that Howie wasn’t so “sweet smelling” anymore.
It’s a good thing that Howie is only a stuffed hamster!
It takes a strong man to admit that he has soft hands.
Well, ok, a secure one.
Said my 4 year old, trying to list different kinds of fish (sharks).
It’s a conspiracy.
Phase 1 – unbridled expansion of wet lands.
Phase 2 – similarly unbridled growth of the water fowl population.
Phase 3 – ducks and geese take over the world!
Diversionary tactics associated with what I now consider the latter stages of Phase 2:
We stopped for lunch at an Arby’s – we were traveling and it was just a pit stop, but I noticed my 11 year old son uncharacteristically eager to get out of the car, and then he was sitting over in the corner booth at the restaurant while I was ordering. I noticed the sheepish look on his face, but I figured he was just confused and thought we were going to eat in.
Then I found out. He was desperately trying to get his DS recharged so he could play more video games.
It’s what my 2 year old calls it when we put a CD in the player and turn the volume up real loud.
The best part about me getting a flat tire was that I was able to demonstrate to myself that I was still able to change it all by myself. I think the last time I did that was over 30 years ago.
Realize, of course, that I can wait another 30 years for the next flat tire, but when it comes, I’ll be ready. And when it comes, I’ll still act like it was just as easy when I’m done, and I’ll still walk away with that “I’m a mechanical genius” swagger.
It stands for the “Pa Protection Unit”, which is comprised of my 11 and 14 year olds. It’s an organization who’s entire purpose for existing is to follow me around and take pretend blood samples all the time and pretaste all my food and/or give me shots of antidote serums.
Apparently, I am in great danger. I would agree, actually, in danger of being driven crazy.
Learning is a painful process and it leads to greater accountability.
Ignorance really is bliss – but it leads to death.
