Door Jam

The car was stuck in the snow in the drive way.  I turned down the fan and the radio and opened the door so I could hear and see the tires – so I wouldn’t spin them too much as I rocked out of the snow.  My sons were outside digging away at the snow under the car and behind the tires.

Yes!  I was starting to make it!  I was moving, faster, faster…     CRUNCH!!

I forgot to close the door, which was now wedged in the snow bank.  It was working just like the barb on a fishhook.  Now there’s a big hole in the back side of the snow bank – just big enough to, say, close a car door.

When the clueless play clue

Everyone else appeared to be narrowing in on the answer, so I desparately guessed that it was Mr. Green in the Ball Room with the Wrench.  Two out of the three were wrong.

Apparently my spread sheets and high tech analysis still has some bugs. 

At least I got out of the game quicker.

I sure know how to pick ‘em

I’m fairly famous for having picked out the exact same ring as a Christmas gift for my wife two consecutive years in a row.  The worse part being, of course, not having remembered that she already had that ring.

The other day when looking for my new b-ball shoes, I was only able to find two lefts – exactly matching with no discernible differences.  Apparently, I replaced my two year old shoes which were hurting my feet with exactly the same shoe – size, color, make, the works! 

Strangest of all, I can’t tell them apart, but the new pair don’t hurt my feet as much as the old pair.

Riding with the Brakes On

I just got back from 2 hours of bike riding – pulling my littlest boys with the bike trailer.  I know I’m in bad shape – but this was unbearably difficult.  Then I discovered about 75% of the way through that my rear brakes were out of adjustment and one of the pads was pretty much “on” all the time. 

No wonder!

Gesture Delays

It’s what happens when you talk first – and then when you’re all done talking, you make the appropriate gesture(s) afterwards. 

It’s funny enough to make a couple of “too cool” teenage girls snort in the morning while I’m driving them to school.

Antennae

I got out of the car at the red light, reached over the windshield and pulled the wipers up so that they stick straight out in the air.  Then, I got back in the car, turned on the wipers, and drove the rest of the way home with them moving back and forth in the air.

This, of course, was the cause of mixed feelings for my on-board teenagers.  Amusement and embarrassment is an interesting combination.

I tried it the next day too, while driving my 14 year old and her friend to school.  The thought of me driving in to their school parking lot with antennae waving back and forth was just too much for them – and it didn’t seem to matter whether they were in full speed mode or delayed!? 

So, I mercifully sped up enough for the wind to blow them down.

Quartering Snow

It’s the term used to describe a snow storm that comes with such abruptness and intensity that it instantly renders vehicles imprisoned and inoperable.

I know, I heard about it in a dream I had last night.

Sub’s in the Van?

Put the previous two posts together, and you’ll understand that my wife and I were waiting in our van for the tow truck to come pick up my wheel-less car.

Considering the special occasions (birthdays), you’ll also understand why it probably wasn’t the best idea for me to suggest that we buy subs to eat in the van while waiting.

I made scrap paper!

My 2nd daughter, while printing a home work assignment, called to her younger sister across the room, “Hey!  I made you some scrap paper!”

I bet I could do that.

It’s dark out

“Why did that guy accross the intersection flash his brights at me?  I don’t have my brights on!”  Stupid driver.
“What in the world, that car pulled out right in front of me like I wasn’t there!”  Stupid driver.
“Oh, my lights were off!” 

Stupid rental car.